fangirljen: (Touching possibilities)
[personal profile] fangirljen
Things have been pretty hectic lately, but I'm dealing and being proactive about it. My mom's health took a turn a week ago Saturday--though according to the pulmonologist this has been building--she developed a high level of CO2 and that in turn caused a nasty bout of pneumonia. For the second time in nine years, I've been in the position of trying to wake my mom up and getting very little response. When she had her heart attack, she was unresponsive, so opening her eyes and saying my name this time was a little better.

She was placed on a ventilator. Except for the pneumonia, she's healthy ish and very strong. You'd think this is a good thing, but it's a curse as well as a blessing. She becomes anxious and excitable and at one point the pressure had to be brought back up to 100% after getting down to 40%. I'm worried that she'll have to be on a ventilator or a trache. My mom would hate to be in either position. She hates depending on oxygen already. This would be far worse. I am hoping her strength will help her overcome the anxiety so she'll be back to regular oxygen. I'm afraid that she could have prevented some of this situation. She has sleep apnea, but has never gotten a bipap machine. If she had one, it would have lowered the CO2 in her system. I guess I'm a little angry at her for never having taken care of that when she knew that she needed one.

According to her primary doctor, he's certain that she'll be back to how she was because of her strength. I wish I could have that kind of faith. He's not treating her, but he knows my mom's pulmonologist. He told me that I should take the bad stuff she suggests could happen with a grain of salt. It's funny because my dad also told me that the pulmonologist focuses on the negative. The doctor also added that she's doing that because some doctors say the worst thing so they look like a hero when things turn out well. I wish her primary doctor was treating her. My mom trusts him. She doesn't trust the doctor who covers for him. However, her primary doctor told me that he would visit my mom so at least there is that.

My mom isn't the only one who has been in the hospital. A week before she went in, my dad went in. He came out three days after she went in. He had a really bad infection, but it's gone now. During those three days, two of them I stayed with family friends and one day I stayed home. I didn't like being alone when I didn't know how things were going to turn out for my mom. I really should talk to the pulmonologist again. I get some information from her nurses, but they can only tell me so much.

I've also been dealing with my own health. Before my mom went in, I was getting sinus stuff going on. Stuff that has gone into pneumonia for me before. But I wouldn't stand for that. And I wouldn't stand for not being able to see my parents, so I've been keeping it at bay. I now seem to be on the other end of it. I'm more clear than I was a week ago. I've been combating it with sheer will, Yoga tea, orange juice, V8, and Yoohoo. Lots of vitamins. I think when all is said and done, my parents and I are going to weigh a bit less, too. I know losing weight by sickness is not the best thing, but it's still weight loss. I just have not had much of an appetite lately.

Speaking of food, I'm eating more at home than I had been in the last five months. I don't do much besides sauteing and microwaving things, but now I'm baking things. Baking fishsticks, but at least it's something. :) And I'm preparing food for my dad too because he's doing a lot of sleeping in his recuping.

Before all this health stuff started happening, I was doing some serious investigating in becoming a creative coach. It's like a life coach, but you coach people to be more creative. I have a mentor who is working with me and I am following up on things she told me to do. I'm starting with reading a couple of books. I was aiming to start things in May, but now I'm aiming for a June or July launch. I still have a long ways to go before I get there. I started a twitter account for my work too. I figured it would be a good idea to get my name out now.

I wanted to do some networking at the LA Times Festival of Books, but due to time schedules and me feeling icky, that was not meant to be. I was able to go, however, with [livejournal.com profile] brokenbacktango and [livejournal.com profile] draugwen. Even with an hour there (literally), it was fun. On Sunday I spent a few hours at the Lemon Festival and was successful in getting what I wanted: hand made lemonade and fresh kettle corn. That stuff is pure joy.

I feel mentally bleh, which is probably from the stress. Despite that, I feel like I am making some crucial changes in my life. Now all I have to do is keep them going when things return to normal in my life.
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December 2010

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