fangirljen

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I love the idea of being open to people, but I'm afraid I am guarded. Not just that, I'm guarded to myself. I'm realizing more and more how closed I've been to myself and to others. It's made me hurt people. :( People who have just been trying to help me. But I get scared and start acting out, and now I've bottomed out.

I'm just going to be open now. I'm not going to let fear stop me from expressing myself because it only ends with pain and hurt.

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I would go for any job right now, but I would love a career. I'd like a job that would allow me to grow as a person, make friends and contacts, have learning experiences, and gain fun stories to share. I want a job that would make me smile and very happy about being there. I'd like a job where the managers both listen and care about what their subordinates have to say, even if the managers may not be in a place to help the subordinates. I want a job where one is rewarded, or at least acknowledged, for one's extra effort that falls outside one job's description. I want a job where I can help people. This is key. I want to have a positive impact upon others. I want to feel like what I am doing is rewarding not just to me, but to the people I engage.

Honestly, it really doesn't matter what I am doing as long as I can incorporate my interests: talking with/helping people, writing/editing, and mainly sharing my experience and insight with others to help them in their lives. Just want to help others do the best they can and find what they are meant to be. I don't need to be in the spotlight.